There was a time when I thought that I had no clue, no understanding of the way life itself, worked.
I grew and grew, yet through the void of time, I felt as if I was stuck in a perpetual loop.
Constantly seeking something that was just out of the grasp of my outreached hand.
Yet, I couldn’t quite get to a possible destination, one in which I seeked beyond desperation.
It wasnt as if, I couldnt see the final spot of my journey. On the contrary, actually.
Circumstances certianly decided the bed in which I laid, but beyond, in a realm of somewhere unknown, I understood everything.
I understood that, a rose that grew into a blossom, was as beautiful, as a soul being carried away by the reaper himself.
The tranquil serenity of nature spoke to me, guiding my every unconscious action.
A force pushing me towards light, in the unseeable darkness.
It drove me to the brink of insanity. Chasing something, which eluded me for the better part of my life. Constantly shoving me until my knees were a bloody pulp.
I will never give, I would say when the sun rose, and as I dragged my beaten body from the cold dirt below.
It was until, my heart exploded. Scattering onto the earth in an immeasurable amount of pieces did I realize, that I had already found what I had been searching for my entire life.
It struck me like a lightening rod, shaking me to my very essence.
Simple, in its nature, yet divine in context. How could this have possibly escaped my conscious, unseen to myself for so long?
And why did it take my utter destruction, to build a foundation?
From the rubble, grew a monumentus stone slab, carved into the earth itself.
In the illustrious drawings, were images of might personas. Angels flying from the top of heaven, lit in an intense flame of burning white light.
Creatures, that existed years before man, soar through the jungle with an intense purpose.
Beauty, in its meaning, could not do justice to the magnificent structure that my heart had created.
All the while, I stared in amazement. Was this my purpose?
What is this?
Questions piled on top the answers that were forming in succession through my mind, rapidly racing without stop.
Darting across points of thought processes that had, in retrospect, always existed. Sections of lines zagging through the empty space of my mind.
Blues began to burst at the seems, creating a sense of a lake that stands utterly still.
Shaded reds gave birth to the roses in summer time. Bleeding onto the tranquil scenery, that laid perfectly still.
From which I had came from, dreams of nothing, I had stumbled upon something that I never knew I really wanted.
These things of nothingness grew into a solemn paradise.
Peace. Within myself.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to break down and curse the self that had loathed the idea of being to far behind.
I wanted to hate the man that made in the this. How foolish he was. How naive.
Yet, these feelings of resentment soon faded. Disappearing into the hole that once housed my heart.
That man is me. And I him.
Time had recoiled, and then shot me forward, bursting my soul into the universe.
I had found the soul that I was destined to become.
And ill be damned, if I let that sense of the divine escape my conscious.
For, I have found happiness. Even if just for a moment.
May the gods help me, as I journey through this life, with joy.